Interesting conversations from the past few days…

Waiting outside a haunted house in the sticks
A small boy, about 7, comes out of the haunted house in a black robe and evil clown mask.

Clown Boy: Are you afraid of clowns?
Stephanie: Sometimes.
CB: There’s a clown in there!
S: Okay.
S: Can I braid your hair? (pointing to the fake purple clown hair sticking out of his mask)
CB: No!?!
S: It would look so cute…
CB: Okay…
S: (braiding Clown Boy’s hair…)
Dan: Dude, that looks HOT!
CB: (looking wearly over his shoulder towards where his friend disappeared into the haunted house)
CB: Matthew…?
S: You look so cute!
CB: Matthew?? MATTHEW!!
CB: (runs away)

In an Alexandria, VA dollar store, looking at Halloween decorations with Dawn
A boy, about 10, approaches holding a toy package.

Dollar Store Boy: (looking at Dawn) Can I have $3?
Dawn: (looks at him) No. (looks away)
DSB: Hahaha! (runs back to his friends laughing)
…a couple minutes later…
DSB: (to his friends) Haha! She just went, “NO!” Hahaha! (he was very amused)

In my favorite Starbucks having my order rung up
One of the usual employees, an odd but kind man who I often see out front on break, is helping me.

Starbucks Guy: Is your dog with you today?
Stephanie: Yep! (point out the window at his head sticking out of the car)
SG: Chester?
S: I’m sorry?
SG: His name is Chester?
S: Benjamin…
SG: AH! Yes! Benjamin.
SG: Something-something dropped off. And, he’s there when I get picked up too.
(I have terrible hearing in all Starbucks for some reason)
S: Ahm! (a non-committal sound halfway between an aw! and a hm!)
S: (nods and smiles)
SG: (hurries over to the drive-through window and gets something out of a plastic container)
SG: Give these to Chester for me! (dumps a few Beggin’ Treats into my hand)
S: Aw, thanks.

Sitting outside the same Starbucks with Benny, having tea and pound cake before continuing on to work
A prim lady with a bag and a notebook approaches with a friend who goes into the Starbucks. They had been chatting at another table outside when I arrived.

Crazy Lady: Can I stop and say hi? What a beautiful dog!
Stephanie: Sure, he’s-
CL: (cuts me off) And, I have to say I love your hair. Is that extensions? That has to be extensions.
S: Yes, there are extensions in it.
CL: What’s your dog’s name?
S: Benny.
CL: Benny? B-E-N-N-Y?
S: Yes. Benjamin.
CL: Can I talk to you for a moment?
S: Sure. (aren’t you already?)
CL: I have a skincare company – you’re very beautiful by the way. Can I give you my card?
S: Uh, sure.
Benny: (tries to stick his head up her skirt)
CL: (hands me her card – it’s Mary Kay)
CL: It must be nice sitting out here having coffee in the middle of the day… (it’s 10 am. she sounds jealous)
S: (it must be nice being a twatwaffle)
S: It is. I’m heading to work soon.
CL: Oh! Where do you work?
S: A doggy daycare.
CL: Oh.
…awkward silence…
Cl: Can I call you later today?
S: (huh??) Uh…
S: Maybe not…
CL: Are you uncomfortable?
S: (YES! go away!) I don’t talk on the phone much.
S: (glances at card) You could email?
CL: oh. Okay. Can you write down your email?
CL: (hands me the back of a card and a pen)
S: (i write my work email address down and hand it back)
CL: Thanks! (starts to head into Starbucks)
CL: You won’t forget me, will you?
S: Uh, no.
CL: Good! (enters the store)
S: (to Benny) She’s craaaa-zzeyyy!