stephanie is: 
here…
we are waiting for our ikea furnature to be delivered today. of course they called and said it would be delivered sometime bettween 12 and 4pm. bah to them! i’ve got tons to stay busy though i guess. i have to clean the bunny hutches (and vaccume the entire office), finish valentines (about 20 to go), do laundry, do more site work, clean the kitchen…. maybe tomorrow can be our day for going out. i’d LOVE to see “hannibal” (mmmm, gore…) but that depends on if we can afford it. theater movies butt rape you.
last night i showered and exfoliated when i got home – then coated myself in sunless tanner (the lightest shade). i actually got a bit of color. my inner arms are normally so white they look blueish, but they are slightly peachy looking this morning. there are some spots on my leg that i missed so they look “special” hehe but i have many more layers to go. i wish this stuff came out of the bottle green or something then faded to clean once dry. its clear so i can’t tell where the hell i have put it and where i haven’t. i guess the secret is to blend blend blend.
i almost cried when trying on my swimsuit bits i ordered. i ordered two styles of tops sixe XS (for AA/A cup) and 3 types of bottoms size S. well i have a big bum so the bottoms JUST fit. i could almost go up to a medium. and the tops… ugh. it was like putting a bra on a 10-year-old boy. how depressing is that. of course i know i shouldn’t let it get to me… but when the absolute smallest swimsuit top made is about 3 sizes too big and you are going on your honeymoon in cancun in a month, it makes you feel down about yourself. i was sad most of the night, but i am not worrying about it this morning. maybe i can buy some boy’s swim trunks and go topless – maybe they won’t notice i’m a girl… hehe. i shall just continue to eat more, take my supplements and protein…. of course my metabolism is just speeding up like it always does if i try to eat more. i’m just pooping even more. ah well – we’ll see. it all goes to my ass anyway, so maybe my body already has figured out how it wants to be (ugly).
uh, i forget what else i was going to say. hmmm… well ima go take my vitamns and eat some breakfast.
Stephanie! Never never call your body ugly. I could get into how it’s worse to be fat like me and not even be able to consider wearing a swimsuit, but I won’t get into that stupid girly “I’m grosser than you” contest. Anyway, the last time I went swimming (in Costa Rica about 3 years ago), I wore a cheap Target swimsuit and gym shorts to cover my big butt. If I were you I’d wear the swimsuit bottoms and like a tank top or something. It doesn’t have to be made of swimsuit material to be swam (swimmed?) in. Even a tshirt on top would be ok.
Cheer up you big monkey brain! You’re getting married to a fabulous boi and going to Cancun!
🙂
Oh please!!!
You’re on of the most delicate and beautifull girls I’ve ever seen!!!! and that’s not fair, cause you’re also kind and smart…
And you also want to have great breasts??
Eheheh I’m just teasing you 🙂 you’re pretty Steph, and that’s how your body wants to look 🙂
Besides.. being intelligent will bring you money and then you can *make* your body be the way *you* want ehehehehhe :**** feel better ok?
Stephanie you are beautifull!!! Don’t ever think that about yourself. I starved myself for ten years trying to keep the type of body you have. Your body is the ideal in fashion magazines and don’t you ever forget that more people are trying to look like you than not !! Listen to Kaela below, she is telling you the truth. I gained a lot of weight after my ovaries came out and I would die to have a body like yours again. The most important thing is you have a man that loves you and your shape so don’t even stress over it. I am sure he doesn’t even see you in the same light as you see yourself. It is our self image of ourselves that is usually the worst image of all and the farthest from the truth.
bathing suit problems
have you ever tried malia mills? (www.maliamills.com) they make tops for smaller girls.
Re: bathing suit problems
they have some neat stuff – but damn! the bikni top alone is $78!! owie! hehe i can’t afford that…
Good idea on the sun tanning. And a hot tip. Buy your suntan lotion here before you go … cause it is a HUGE “butt rape” in Cancun. In fact, I’ll send you some if you want. We sell names like Banana Republic and Nantucket Gold at super discount prices. It can be a wedding present … heh. Let me know.
I will let the grrls comment on the swim suit problem. I think you are a cutie and Dan is wicked lucky!!!!
Hmmm … I do remember the wet Tee Shirt contest but I don’t think people go topless in Cancun as a rule … ;o(
hmmm
Woha,
You’re way too hard on yourslef.
You’re very pretty.
You’d be surprised the way a mans mind works.
You have many more pluses than you’ll ever know
and don’t dare me to email them to yaa.
<>
Sex, sexy, sensual and being attractive does not have to rotate around a big bra size…
stephaniebutt, ive always thot you were gorgeous from the first time i saw you. dont be so hard on yerself, danny loves you just the way you are (and theres nothing wrong with the way you are). we allhave those things we would like to change. if you wanna gain a bit of weight to make yerslef feel better thats great but don’t obsess about it baybee. ive been body conciouss since the day i was boring cuz ive always been overweight, i had to starve myself in the beginning of highschool to even get close to the size i thot was “a good size” and its just not worth all that. the mirror lies to the person looking in it alot of times.
awww
i typed this all up and then my browser crashed. doh!
anyway–i’ve been there. for a LONG time i couldn’t/didn’t DARE wear a bikini. my breasts recently inflated of their own will, though. hrm.
anyway, i have a couple of swimwear suggestions:
1) try a tankini if you haven’t
http://www.jcrew.com has some CUTE ones, and the colorblock collection has some XS (i have the catalog on my lap *wink*). i used to wear these because i didn’t have to worry about filling out a cup to make the durned thing look good and stay on, as long as it fits your torso, you’re set. and it’ll look adorable!
2) look for Roxy
as an occasional surfer, i come into contact with this girly surf company rather frequently. they are NOTORIOUS for how their clothes run small, since they cater to the younger girls/japanese market. their bikinis are very very cute, but i have to get huge sizes to fit me (i’m an 8 elsewhere!). an XS roxy will definitely be XS. there’s an awesome cheetah print roxy bikini that alloy.com is selling right now. there’s no underwires in the top, it’s almost like a flat triangle style (i have one like it), so it might really work for you.
3) fret not.
women shouldn’t hate our own bodies just because *clothes* don’t fit them correctly. sure, hate the way the clothes look, but don’t hate yourself just because you aren’t “normal”. believe me, finding clothes to fit is also a loosing battle for me, since i’m about 6’1″. i see more and more tall sizes as time goes on, but those cute clothes in delia’s? nope, not gonna work. i don’t hate my body for it, on the contrary, i LOVE being so tall. i just hate the fact that clothes don’t fit me usually. just keep looking, and once you find something that works, don’t forget where you found it.
no no no. not ugly! and you will probably gain weight in your boobs, but just not right away. the first place I gain weight is my tummy, then probably butt , etc.
try enzymes- because they will help you hold on to the nutrients and fat in food instead of just pooping it. you look fine, dont worry about it.
clothes are designed for some body shape that doesnt actually exist in nature. very very few of us are the same size on both top and bottom. I sometimes feel like a freak too when I am trying on clothes- I wonder what is wrong with me that my proportions arent the same as the clothes.