i am trying to remember to breathe. i hate being stressed out. yesterday dan met me at work around 4pm and we drove up to the town house development where we met my dad. we showed him around the model, and wanted to take him to one on the nearly built homes that was simular to ours, but they were painting inside it. he really didn’t have anything negative to say about it where took away a lot of empty worries i had. i was grateful he was there (thank you daddy) when we sat down to go over all the options and whatnot. it is hard to believe we will probably have a brand new house! we just need to be approved for a morgage in 45 days. if this falls through for some reason – it won’t be the end of the world… i will get the $5k deposit back and we will keep looking. we stuck to our budget when going over the optional items and ended up with wood floors in the kitchen and a whirpool tub! not sure if it is the corner one or a jetted oval. dan will have to ask. all the stress of this has been wearing on me. i have had trouble sleeping all week, trouble eating, trouble concentraiting…. bleh. i get home, cook dinner with danny, force myself to eat, stare at my computer/tv/floor/wall, then get into bed to toss and turn for the rest of the night. i don’t like stressing over money. my dad gave us some money as our early wedding gift – we are very grateful for that! but it is times like this that i wish i were making money from my site instead of spend hundreds on the connection it runs on every month. the latest survey on my site asks if anyone would pay for parts of my site. normally 600ish people answer – this time barely 100 did and most say they would not, or that they would need to think about it. so i guess i do it all for you for free still. no one is buying the t-shirts. i guess $15 is better spent on mcdonalds and movies since everyone says to me “i’d love to but i don’t have the money”. sigh. i could try to do some freelance design – i have been turning down some offers – but i would have to charge a decent amount due to my extremely limited time. i wouldn’t charge the $90/hour for graphics that my company charges for my services – but still around $50. sometime i wish i could just have a pay site, but i would have to get naked on camera for that or else no one is interested. and that is simply not an option because i resect danny’s wishes. i don’t particularly want to anyway, as i dispise the crowd an adult site can sometimes attract. grr grr grrr. money money money. i hate money. ima go live in a hut. |
Stvlive.com
{{HUGS}}
We all worry about money, it’s crazy.
I was driving to collect the Josh after work last night and I was thinking about Buck-O-Nine’s song called Record Store it totally strikes a cord with me. It’s about a guy who is out of the rat race and is free.
It’s sad to say but I was actually happier working at the porno store than I am with all this money.
Blah, maybe I’ll sell my car and find a cheap ass place to live and give up IKEA and maybe then I’ll be happy because my time will really be MINE.
-just a thought
GG
Tough tough decisions … I wouldn’t be sleeping either …
I don’t have a clue how much PG CAM sites can pull in on a per pay basis … maybe some of your CAM grrl friends have an insight – Neko, Jenni etal. But I think there are so many freebie sites, that the amounts are probably dwindling.
I would pursue the following thought (were I asked .. hehehe)
* Reduce the time devoted to STV
* Reduce the cost of STV (not sure how that is done .. slower refreshes? fewer pages? fewer CAMS?)
* Pursue the free lancing opportunities at the going market rate – $50 seems OK – (but don’t compete with your employer – could be a problem).
* Relax and enjoy your new house by soaking for a LONG time in the heart shaped whirlpool tub.
Exciting times but tough decisions .. Good luck.
freelance
If the average full-time worker puts in 2000 hours a year. Then the $90/hr your company charges is 180 grand of revenue. Minus your salary from that 180 grand and you figure what you’re paying your boss for bringing you clients, and providing a nice work enviroment.
Using the same 2000hrs/yr. number, if you figure that 3/4th of your time as a freelance will be searching for clients, then $50/hr works out to about $25,000/yr. Thats until you get a client base or find the big sugardaddy client.
Something to think about when you start marketing your services. Clients are also paying you not to be a big firm. They probrably don’t want the continuous bill or the “commitee” work which just adds time to their overall bill. By yourself you’ll be much more efficient, therefore it could be cheaper in the long run for them to pay you $100 per hour than your current companies $90.
Try to think of all the added value stuff that you as a solo freelance designer could bring besides the design work. It is that what people wish to buy. Are you more punctual, efficient, creative?
uh wait, i’m trying to turn a designer into a marketeer. sorry occupational hazard.
Well, it might give you something to think about.
Re: freelance
Revenue usually doesn’t quite work that way. At least in the field most of my classmates are going into, the amount of hours you work does not equal the amount of hours you can bill a client. Usually it works out so that you can only bill about 2/3 of the time you are “at work.”
Whether a client wants to deal with a firm depends on what kind of client it is. Bigger companies usually want to deal with firms. They think it’s more reliable, and they find dealing with firms reassuring. Often they’re right (though of course we all know Steph is quite capable).
Steph – do you know anyone else who’s freelancing? You could ask around and find out what appropriate rates are for freelance work of different kinds.
Gotta be careful not to compete with your full-time employer, though… and also to do your taxes right.
Don’t panic! Remember to breathe. You’ll be okay.
Re: freelance
your classmates must not be going into law. (hehe)
you’re definitely right about the big firms, if they are not “sold” about an individuals abilities they’d rather pay out the wazoo to hire a big firm. it is reassuring to have the excuse to give a boss that they were one of the largest most prestigous.
there is a stigma that successful companies must be big. so when you approach the “big” companies you must overcome those stigmas. but if you are successful in overcoming that stigma then you will have the sugardaddy client I discussed earlier.
the thing to think about here is that only small percentage of companies can be considered big, which leaves a large number of small companies, (less than 500 employees) who might benefit from services rendered, whether that be accounting, law, plumbing, training, or web design/graphic arts.
a large part of the success of any freelance individual, besides ability and perseverence (sp), is his/her ability to sell/market themselves. If you do that properly, customers would be happy to pay a premium for services.
Which is why I believe that you should use the market rate only as a guideline. If you are real good and can sell your abilities. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask a premium amount for services rendered. Especially if you show a potential client that it is the right business decision for them to make. And that is judged by the improvement to the bottom line. What company wouldn’t pay a million dollars if it was shown that earnings would be improved 10 million.
why do i feel like a rambling professor?
i should shut up now and keep opinions to self.
ok, i’ll be quite now.
no now
er now
now
argh
moneys
i know stressing about moneys can be tough. i’ve been doing it a lot lately since we move in less than 3 weeks. obviously u have a lot more money to worry about..i only have to worry about a couple thousand for now..u have lots more..i am the type of person who tries not to plan and just says “some way or another, this will work out. we’ll find a way.”..but that is hard to do 🙂
i think more people than u think would join a pay*site u put up..i didn’t think anyone would join my site ( and mine is like, a one time 25$ fee..how cheap of me 😀 ) but you’d be suprised.. 🙂
and a lot of people out there aren’t interested in naked girlies on cam :)..there r so many sites i would love to join ( and plan on doing once i get settled in our new house 🙂 ) just because i’m interested in their thoughts and what is going on their heads. 🙂 that is what i focus on on my member*site is the journal and writings. the cam is just a feature. i want people to focus on what i’m thinking more than what i’m looking like just sitting in front of the cam.
u have lots of talent and u have SO may viewers and fans..way more than me..i wish i was in such demand as u ^.^ but i think with that talent u have, a lot of people would be happy to help u out if u ever went pay. i would 🙂
*huggles and cookies for u* ^.^
my 2 simple cents..
i would pay (not a hugely amount mind you..) not because you need money..but because you have the talent that many people love to see, you keep it updated which is worth the $ we would pay. Most sites don’t update and make changes as often as you or as good as you. it’s always fun to see what neato idea you came up with next. you make your sight fun. money is always going to be an issue in life!! i would bet that the people that said they wouldn’t pay said that because 1. of course they have no money to pay..2. OR just said that so you don’t make a pay site (which i believe).
in the end your true fans will accept your decision! just like true friends! good luck with your tough decision! Also, if you turned your site into a nudie one it would not be the same!!
$$$
it’s sad that people really don’t realize the costs of putting up a good site…if you were publishing a book or coming out with a cd, nobody would have any problem dropping 5 or 10 dollars because they would understand that it cost money to share your art. unfortunately, with the internet being such an intangible thing, people just don’t seem to grasp the fundamental concept that bandwith costs money. and somewhere along the line, subscription content became equated with nudity. both of which are rather nefarious concepts to have been implanted in people’s heads. it’s a tough road to hoe, and i fear it’s only going to become tougher as people’s content expectations are raised with broadband and streaming video and stuff.
essentially what i’m saying is you pay for a book, a magazine, a cd, a movie, a song, or a poem. why do people have this tremendously arrogant and greedy sense of entitlement towards the internet? it’s more than annoying, it’s hurtful.
i love your site. it’s well-designed, beautiful, and fun. and i think the internet would be a sadder and fundamentally lesser place if it were to go away–or worse, if the site were in any way compromised against your conception of how it ought to be. i’m not rich, but for a few bucks a month…i’d hardly go hungry.
i don’t eat at mcdonald’s tho *blech* 🙂
*runs to buy a big stv coffee mug*
mrkite
money is a bummer
STV just wouldn’t be the same with a nudie component. 🙁 I enjoy the site because of what is streaming out of your fertile mind! You are creative and you have talent; these are assets that you should be able to use to your advantage.
I faced many of the same questions you now face. I came to the conclusion that I wanted my time for myself. Working all of the time to support all of the things that modern life “required” was not fulfilling (10 years in college too!). I make less, but my time is my own for my own interests. A nice balance should be your goal. (I am probably stating the obvious. Sorry.)
By the way, I would subscribe to your site. I tend to support the things I find worthwhile (kind of like PBS). Hang in there!
(Oh, my daughter likes your site too!)
good god do I understand this right now.
:/
the money problems… the people not buying t-shirts to help out, the people giving me shit every time I mention going paysite… :<
It all makes me angsty.
steph-funneee
I definatly think people would pay for your site as it is now. You do so many updates and things that you wouldn’t ever have to do anything nude if you didn’t want to. People freaked while your site was down, really, they freaked.. at least the ones that e-mailed me did, hehe. If you ever had to make the choice of taking nearly everything down or becoming a pay site I just KNOW people would pay.. I would. *hugs*
-hollybear
maybe is CyberServ paid you what you were worth then you’d be ok!