stephanie is: 
achy…
Hello. Happy Tuesday. Is this your first day back at work for the week? i worked yesterday. I didn’t even get anything off for Christmas or New Year’s Day (because they landed on Sundays) – though I used vacationdays for them. My Monday was very long, and I swear I was home like 15 minutes before heading out to run errands and grocery shop. By the time we got home, it was time to just go to bed.
On Saturday, a reporter from the Baltimore Sun called to interview me about my webcam site, Stvlive.com. I believe her article is going to be about how new media (such as webcams and blogs) allows anyone to be a “star”. I’m not really sure how the interview went. I don’t feel like I was really giving her the answers she was hoping to get.
One of the big questions that I didn’t really have an answer to was about the motivation behind my site. I didn’t start my site to get attention, feed my vanity, to make money, or be “popular” or “famous”. The simple and unglamorous answer to that is that Stv grew from my accumulation of personal websites and my exploration of new technologies as they became available (webcams, blogs, streaming, etc). I didn’t have a master plan or even set out to learn anything about myself or the world. Just because I didn’t start out with a purpose in mind, doesn’t mean I haven’t learned a lot. It is fascinating the insight I’ve gained into the human mind just by watching how people react when they come across a site such as mine. And, my website have improved my design and programming skills a thousand-fold. I have never taken any web design classes. I simply teach myself what I need to learn and practice on my personal sites. You could probably say I owe my job(s) and livelihood to my silly websites.
I was asked if I get a “thrill” out of people watching me on camera and/or thinking I am pretty. To be honest, I am completely neutral about the fact that people are watching live. I’m not really that much of an exhibitionist – though of course you need to be comfortable with the idea that an unlimited number of strangers are going to have access to photos of you if you post them online. When I pose for a gallery of photos, whether on my live cams or in front of a still camera, what is in my head first and foremost is creating a beautiful/interesting/whatever image. Of course I realize (and am glad) that there will be an audience for my finished projects (be they photos, movies, or even just silly little web pages). I think that most “artists” (using the term loosely for those who feel that calling web designers and digital performers “artists” dilutes the word) appreciate having an audience and maybe even thrive on it. I do. But, on the other hand, if everyone stopped visiting my site or viewing what I present to the world, I wouldn’t stop creating it or posting it.
One of the biggest benefits I get out of my site is memories. I have a terrible memory, but if I have a photo (even just a simple web cam capture of me heading out the door in a particular outfit on a certain day) I suddenly can hold on to the memory of that day infinitely longer. The reporter brought up the point that perhaps because I lost my mother so young and have no memories of her I am more afraid of forgetting past events than most people. I’ve never really thought about it that way, but I certainly can’t deny that that might be part of it.
Ultimately, I really wasn’t sure what to say about my site beyond this simple statement: it is what it is.
On to the useless, daily-life blather…
I am feeling a bit under the weather today, but not for any germ or sickness reasons. Actually, I haven’t “caught” a sickness in well over 6 months. i’ve only had random allergies and digestive problems. I think my sudden immune system boost is due to my vitamins and drinking lots more water. It really used to bug me when strangers would tell me (quick rudely) online that I was always sick because I was skinny. No – I just wasn’t taking my vitamins. Anyway, I am feeling lousy today due to monthly girl things. That should only bother me for another day or two. But, I am also dealing with my yearly winter problem of an extremely sore/dry throat overnightbecause of our dry bedroom. We have a humidifier, but the filter needs to be changed before it can be run. Of course, no stores in our area (including the one we got the humidifier from) carry the replacements, so I have to wait for them to ship to me. Last night I kept waking up expecting to be bleeding from the mouth because my throat hurt so bad. I think I’ll be taking some liquid medicine tonight. Hopefully it won’t take too long for the new filters to arrive.
A fun work-related thing:
A photo I took was published in the February issue of Dog Fancy magazine! It is of Kizzie the corgi getting a spa bath. They also published a photo (of Remy the hound mix getting a bath) taken by 
photo_obscura when we hired him to do a last minute photo shoot for a large brochure project. Unfortunately, they credited them only to the company, and not our names. But, it is still neat to see your photo published. Mine definitely jumps off the page!
I am just pausing my workday long enough to paste this entry into my journal. I am ready for my day to be over. I’d love a bowl of soup right now – I am still feeling the after effects of our dry bedroom. If anyone is interesting to giving that reporter some feedback about why you visit my website, let me know.
12:00 pm – nap time for the dogs here at doggy daycare. Maybe I can find a free space on the futon and curl up for a nap too?