stephanie is: 
upset.
why does nighttime bring that awful sick sinking feeling back and the tightness to my chest? instead of remebering i was laid off every hour or so, i start to think about it all the time and get all worked up. i am going through some of my cam pics and thinking – i still had a job then. i wonder when they decided i would be one to go (it is only a <30 person company (less for sure now)… they were cheerful to me up untill the death march to the lay-off meeting. i must stop thinking about it or i will be crying off and on all nigh like i did last night. i just wish it were the weekend already so it would be easier to pretend this all never happened. i just with i could go back in time a month. i get so scared of change. i think i am pretty strong, but at night when it is dark and quiet and i am left with nothing but my thoughts, i feel so small and worthless.
ugh, well anyway – thanks to everyone who watched tonight’s cam show. twas lots of fun and a good distraction. i will make a gallery for it tomorrow.
to bed go i.
Let yourself grieve 🙁 … its like a little death when u lose something that was important and necessary to u.
its their loss… but I am so sorry it happened to you…
nightnight.
I have to think it’s because we wind down & aren’t so busy at night, so our minds have room to think about whatever it is that bothers us.
My dog (my baby!) died 2 weeks ago & it hit me the hardest at night when my brain was quiet.
I’m sorry about your job. 🙁
{{{Stephanie}}}
Sleep Well…
Give it time… yeah, that must sound pretty lame right now. Anyway, we love you and believe in you… and I haven’t even met ya. 🙂 (((Stephanie)))
I know change is scary. I went from nasty soviets to confused capitalism, from University to piano teaching to concerts, from being on internet to not, then back again, from Russia to Finland, to England, back to Russia then to USA. Many languages, many places, many jobd. From not married to married. All within a few years.
It doesn’t seem to bother Ivan. When he got laid-off from job 2 years ago, he just laughed. Of course, he has web business and didn’t really need job so much.
Do something fun! Take mind off of old job. Create new one! (Job I mean) hehe.
-Lena